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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Maybe he's really not that into you!





Last night was the best!!!!!! *Tyrone put it DOWN and gave *Tina the best sex she had ever had and even though he had stood her up the last few times they were supposed to go out on a actual date all was forgiven! This morning when she got up extra early to fix him breakfast he said he wasn't hungry and only wanted some more of dat bomb p_ssy which she readily complied to giving him, afterward with a smile on his face he went to the bathroom and then came out and said his job called him into work! After a quick peck on the mouth he leaves in a hurry quickly jogging off to his car which he had parked all the way down the street! At first *Tina. was a Lil pissed off that *Tyrone. left so quickly , but then she thought about how the night before when he came over he had brought over some of the best Italian takeout she had ever tasted , lit some candles and di_ked her down so good there is no way she could stay mad at him! If he keeps treating her like this he definitely could be the one!






Now Ladies I know many of you are shaking your heads by now ...................Why didn't she get mad after he brought over some takeout instead of taking her out in public? Why didn't she say anything about him getting up and leaving so fast after they had sex or about being parked all the way down the street? The sad thing is MANY of you have been *Tina in one way or another (including myself) and not even realized it! You know it is so easy for us to look at someone else's situation and judge them harshly , but not pay attention to our own chaotic lives! Some of us ladies constantly over look the signs that a man isn't that into us because we so desperately want to be loved by someone instead of learning to love ourselves! The Boy-Men ( men that still act like boys) out there like these type of women (play-thangs/jumpoffs and probably have AT LEAST 3 to 4 a piece at even given time!



I've noticed that a most of the ladies who fit the criteria of a play-thang/jumpoff are quick to say ( after getting played by a boy-man) that the guy wasn''t all that anyway and that were just using him for money, sex etc., that is of course after having cried themselves to sleep because they finally realized that the one that they thought could be THE ONE only wanted them strictly for sex ! So what's a gurl to do?............................Trinity's Vibrator Twin Pack?:)









  • SET YOUR STANDARDS HIGH! Now I'm not saying just because you want a man who is rich that you should diss a blue collar guy because he might be a good man for you, but if you notice that he drinks too much , has a lot of kids, has no goals etc. than kick him to the curb and move da hell on!If a man can't meet you minimal requirements than he isn't the one for you boo




  • NEVER EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN'S POTENTIAL! Gurl you know what I'm talking about! "If only ______would stop doing _____ he would be perfect" If only he would do this, If only he would do that...... What makes you think he is going to change all of a sudden now? Like the old saying goes" When someone shows you who they really are believe them" Oh and then move the hell on!:)



  • IF HE DOESN'T CALL YOU STOP LEAVING HIM MESSAGES AND MOVE DA HELL ON!Ladies this is a BIG one in my book because I feel if a man truly likes you he will find a way to get in contact with you! One of my girlfriends told me the other day that her "friend" said he had to break the date that they had been planning for over a week because his cell phone went dead! WTF? My response to my girlfriend was " If his azz really liked you he would've walked to a neighbor's house, asked to use a friends cell or walked to a pay phone to talk to you" Ladies if he goes a few days without calling you or claims that he was too busy or had phone issues move the hell on!Why make a man a priority in your life if you aren't one in his?




  • LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! If you don't love you how in the world do you expect anyone else to? Everyone has flaws boo! Half of these celebrities we see on TV look like the CRYPT KEEPER without their makeup on! Stop looking in the mirror and downing yourself! Whether big or small, short or tall, cute or ugly there is a man out there who will love da hell out of you! Don't let him pass you by because you are too busy putting yourself down! Love you boo!
Ladies if you haven't already please check out these two books right here!Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment and He's Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wake-Up Call

UNTIL NEXT TIME ................TOODLES!




















Friday, May 7, 2010

Da Undercover Brother vs Da Black Woman

Ladies? Does your man have a close male friend who is mad suspect? Does he ALWAYS spend more time with his BOYZ than you? Has he been locked up for a significant amount of time? Does he always want to have ANAL sex with you ? Have you ever caught him and another man staring or looking at each other for no reason? Does he spend more time in the mirror than you! Does he wear lips gloss or have arched eyebrows ? Well boo I hate to tell you this but your man might be a BISEXUAL man living on the down low!

Exhibit A :Nokio and Sisqo from Dru Hill


They went from this.........






To this.............................

HOW YOU DOING?

And finally this............................

Nokio now sports tight clothes, a PURPLE mohawk and fingernail polish!


They both claim that they aren't gay or bi! SMH

Black men are especially famous for living on the DL, but who can really blame them ? If they were to tell their BLACK families ,girlfriends or wives the truth they know that they will be called a FAGGOT ,dumped and disowned! I hate to say this but BLACK WOMEN are some of the most JUDGEMENTAL people alive(I know because I'm one myself) I'm not saying that gives man the right to lie about his sexual orientation but I can definitely see way they do so ! Maybe if black women stop being so loud , argumentative and judgemental maybe our black men who are living on the DL will be comfortable enough to tell us the truth before we get intimate with them! Shit I wouldn't want to be with a bisexual man , but I would at least respect him for telling me the truth and allowing me to make the decision on whether I wanted to pursue a sexual relationship with him!



!

smoochies!

After sex he likes to spoon with his latin lover!


Carlos got mad and pushed Terrell out of the closet by posting these pics online!
What man is going to tell you anything if he knows that you are going to act a complete fool? Just something to think about! Ladies regardless if a man is straight ,bi, tri or on the DL tell him ,no glove no love because we are getting infected with HIV and dying of AIDS more than anybody these days!

Until next time ..........Toodles

Monday, April 19, 2010

Overconfidence


Ladies I'm sure that you all have at least one friend that is way too confident, $hit you may have been that way yourself in the past ! If you don't believe me just take out an old family album and I'm sure you can pick out at least one picture that will have you asking yourself "what the hell was I thinking?" Fortunately most of us grow out of our foolish ways but some people never do!

Aretha Franklin showing everyone that there is a GOD because those straps didn't brake !

Now I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with having confidence in yourself but when you subject others to nightmarish images such as how Aretha Franklin does above than something has to give! So where should one draw the line? Well here are a few signs that you may need to take things down a notch!


1.If your children cry and beg you to put on less revealing clothing and stop acting foolish than you might be overconfident !

Keyshia Cole's Momma Frankie showing everyone where Keyshia came from!

2.When you walk by people on the street in your "new sexy outfit" they look at you strangely and burst out laughing you might be overconfident!


3.When you go out with your girlfriends they always try their best to avoid you once y'all get in public You might be overconfident!
Leona Lewis looking like da Joker from a stack of playing cards
4.If the last time you went and got all dressed up multiple people mistook you for a prostitute you are over confident!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lil Kim looking like a porn star at a movie premier

5. If you think your size 26 body looks good in a size 12 you are overconfident!!!!!!!!!!



Hopefully this post has served as an intervention for those of you who may have needed one!

Until Next time ................Toodles!

Get Your Priorities Right!

Do You know someone who lives in the hood but drives an Escalade or Infiniti ? Does one of your girlfriend's only dress her kids in Coogi and Baby Phat but has to ride the city bus because she " can't afford a car" ? Do you have a homeboy who religiously rocks $800 dollar outfits but has jacked up teeth or is thousands of dollars behind in child support? What do all of these people have in common? They all have their priorities f_cked up!

EXHIBIT A
MC HAMMER

MC Hammer used to be a superstar but since he didn't have his priorities straight he is now just a spokesperson for cash4gold and is just a used up reality tv star!

We all know someone who is constantly bragging about all of their material possessions but in actuality they barely have a pot to piss in! What is even worse are the people who have money but will not take care of things that need to be taken care of (like their kids and their damm teeth) lol !

Exhibit B
HILARY CLINTON
Damm Hilary! No wonder your ass didn't make it as The first woman president ! LOOK AT THEM TEETH! How are you going to smile at people with those teeth and ask them to vote for you? Now we know why Bill Cheated! Somebody has some hygiene issues !


EXHIBIT C
FLAVOR FLAV



Blinging ?????????? As of March 2010 Flavor Flav owes over $183,000 in unpaid taxes and $63.000 in child support for three of his seven kids!


Why do people try to live beyond their means? Eventually the truth will come out (once they have to claim bankruptcy and RENTWAY comes knocking at the door for their furniture ) ! Instead of working two jobs to pay off your ESCALADE and your RENTWAY furniture why not go back to school and get a higher paying job? Instead of Buying That $350 Ed Harvey jacket why not put that money in the bank and save up for a car so that you and your kids no longer have to ride the bus?
EXHIBIT D
EVE

Shawty gurl might be sporting a mink but she currenty owes the IRS a whopping $357,000! She said love is blind, I guess her accountant is too! SMH



Let get it together People!

Until next time ................Toodles!









Saturday, April 17, 2010

All I can say is damm!

Have you ever met a guy or girl and thought that they was the best thing since sliced bread, only to find out that when they take their clothes off they don't quite measure up ?

Exhibt A
Actor Brian White




Where is his dick?
This breaks my heart!
Damm


Exhibit B
Actress Phoebe Price


Damm I've seen 80 year old women with less cottage cheese on their thighs!

Ladies would you still sleep with a man that you were dating if you found out that he was only packing a coaktail weiner or had beady beads all over his back ? Fella's would you still consider a woman girlfriend material if her titties looked like they had been rolled over with a steam roller or her thighs were covered in cottage cheese looking cellulite? Inquiring minds want to know! LOL
Until next time ................. Toodles

Friday, April 16, 2010

Backstabbers


Linda Tripp and Monica Lewinsky before Linda decided to tape private conversatons of her girl spilling the beans about her affair with President Bill Clinton.

Yeah ya'll know the song! "They smile in your face all the time they want to take your place them BACKSTABBER'S , BACKSTABBER'S"


Don't you hate when you think you have a friend only to find out that they are secretly hating on you? You get a new man and next thing you know they say you're acting brand new. You get a job and now you're acting funny! You go back to school and now they say you think you're smarter than every damm body! WTH? When you wasn't working they said that you was lazy. When you didn't have a man they said you was patheic. When you wasn't going to school they sad you was never going to amount to anything. So what's a person to do? I used to say watch the company you keep but now I say "KEEP YOU FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER" because that way you will know exactly how they are trying to bring you down if you PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THEM!

Infamous backstabber Denise Richards checked out her friend Heather Locklear's Cleavage before she stole her man! She probably was thinking "My implants look so much better"




Pay close attention to how they treat the one's they claim to be closest to. If they talk about them like a damm dog you can best believe they are talking about you the same damm way! You know Misery loves company and if they are miserable they will not be satisified until you are too. The best way to get back at a backstabber is to become sucessful as you possibly can and without gloating watch them hate!


Until next time .... Toodles

Tiger Woods And His Dick.

Wow! At First it was entertaining to hear about Tiger Woods many extra martial affairs, but now the shit is getting on my nerves! The media is acting like his "CABLASIAN" ass murdered some body's kids! Shit the only thing he murdered was some P_ussy and by the looks of him he doesn't seem he could even do that right! Leave his goofy looking ass alone ! $hit he is just a man who wanted his cake and eat it too,unfortunately he just got caught! The only reason his wife got mad is because she probably felt left out because she wanted some fish taco too! LOL

Until next time.....Toodles

Thursday, April 15, 2010

GROWING HEALTHY HAIR !

Do you have problems growing out your hair or retaining it's length? Do you need advice on what type of products to use on your hair? Have you ever heard of co washing, protective styling or Boundless Tresses? Whether your hair is natural or relaxed LONG HAIR CARE FORUM is the place for you to go!

Until Next time..........Toodles

The way you got him is the way you're going to lose him!


Ladies , Ladies, Ladies! I feel the need to say WAKE UP!
Why you ask ? I'm tired of seeing so many misguided females thinking they are the $hit because they have claimed someone Else's man!Honey I don't care how pretty you are, How many times you can make your azz jump , How deep you can deep throat his d_ck , how wet your p_ussy get because guess what there are plenty of females out there who can do the same exact thing as you if not better! If you think that he is yours forever than wake up because as soon as those titties start to sag and that coochie starts getting dry he will be on to the next one! If he cheated with you honey ,he will cheat on you too boo! Then you'll be you sitting around wondering why he left your azz for big ole sister Frances who sings on the church choir every Sunday and looks like Precious! Have some respect for yourself , stop bragging about who's man you have f_cked and find your own ! Next



Until Next Time .............Toodles

what do you taste like?

Ladies has your man ever hesitated before going down on you? When performing oral sex do you notice a grimace on his face? Does he always want to grab a bottle of chocolate syrup before eating your cha cha? If so honey your stuff tastes bad and may even smell bad too ! I'm sure your first response to this would be to say that " I wash My P_ssy everyday and I douche and use my powder and sprays" Well honey that isn't not going to cut it ! So what's a girl to do! First of all before you get freaky with your man AlWAYS go run in the bathroom and take a full bath ,shower or "hoe bath"! Make sure you get your washcloth extra soapy and go to town down there! Make sure you get to all your cracks and crevices down there and don't forget to wash around your clit because smegma can linger around there ewww ! Lay off all the powder and sprays because they can do more harm than good and no man wants to eat a powdery p_ussy! Now If That doesn't work check out your diet......................................



Certain foods that you eat can seep through your pores down below (yes we do have pores down there) and can cause you to stink! Foods such as Onions, Garlic, Fish, Cabbage etc. can make you smell funky . Avoid these foods If you notice that they make you smell bad because you probably taste bad too! Excessive alcohol and smoking can also have a bad effect on your taste and smell ! Last but not least try my old stand by ! After taking a bath. shower or hoe bath taste yourself! Yes that's right put your finger inside of you and see what it tastes like? Don't be ashamed , $hit this is your p_ussy! If you don't like it why da hell do you think he will? GURL get you some pineapple juice and grape juice ( da sweeter da better) ! Drink a few cups of it a day and lots of water and you should notice a difference in a few days !





If all else fails go the clinic!

Until next time............... toodles